Blue Ruin

by Siân Brown

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1.
Inbetween Dreams Broke, broken and cold Waiting at the bus stop's getting old Christmas lights have increased ten fold While I'm banking on Thursdays dole There's an early morning woman drinking vodka neat There's a man stood preaching on Patrick's Street and all I can say is I'm somewhere in between, in between dreams. Through the swings and roundabouts between the bank and the playground Is where I should be lost and found Making all these funny sounds There's a game of chess along with every scene There are moves to prove the difference between pawn and queen and all I can say is I'm somewhere in between, in between dreams. Oh wont you come and talk to me my love? You know who you are and these days Im above Playing the fool, we both act too cool. There's an early morning woman drinking vodka neat There's a man stood preaching on Patricks Street and all I can say is I'm somewhere in between, In between dreams.
2.
Remember My Name I know it's been a long time gone As I'm making daisy chains in the sun I think back to all the pain you caused And I'm still wondering what I did wrong But now I've got the strength to know Now I've got the strength to say I'm not the nothing girl within your games You will remember my name. Bet you didn't think that you'd see the day Or realise that I'd so much to say Underestimated from the start The powerful words of my heart And its O.K. To dwell on such things As I'm moving on and up and either which way But oh it hurts and yes it stings So you'll remember my name As I remember your name Oh this is ridiculous. This was years ago Cant get you off no matter how hard I wash So I'll make sure You will remember my name. As I remember your name. As I remember the pain As I remember the shame. As I remember your face As I remember your grace Oh this is ridiculous. This was years ago Cant get you off no matter how hard I wash So I'll make sure You will remember my name.
3.
From My Window From my window I can see the most amazing things Hotels and boats along the quay with brightly coloured bunting From my window there are trains and cranes and far off mountains Petrol in puddles, down the lanes the sun hits off the houses Sometimes I give in to the truth But, oh, it makes me feel so blue I don't know what to do When I'm thinking of you From my window a garden washing line, a long peg rainbow Sitting small upon the sill I find Ive got no one to show From my window now I wonder can you see me crying The day is always harder when little bits of me are dying. Sometimes I give in to the truth But, oh, it makes me feel so blue I don't know what to do When I'm thinking of you And there's nothing I can do Oh, I wish you were untrue Please some one tell me what to do I shouldn't be thinking of you
4.
Brother 03:59
Brother October brings the signs of autumn time The turning trees who must concede stand and cry away their leaves Chimneys fill the air, he just cant bare to smell the smoke The do's and donts along with memories, masks and ghosts Shaking spinning spiders from his addled mind He could break a world of hearts if they saw him from inside And deep deep down he always knew, love is the only thing that's true. Long ago he broke, his life a joke, his childhood hell The tears that welled and fell just to leave an empty shell Tried to understand the twisted mind, the dad who drank and drank and stank of stale piss and wine. Time takes its toll on the young mans hopes, the thicker the walls, the softer the soul And deep deep down he always knew, love is the only thing that's true Once there was a love, fit like a glove, the two were one, the deed was done Their lives complete, the past be gone But fate was to devastate the future wife, light of his life As death returned and turned his days to nights Now when he walks in the park through the trees His hopes and his dreams as dead as the leaves And deep deep down he always knew, love is the only thing that's true
5.
My Madness 05:29
My Madness A stranger stares from a mirror, what does she see? A marble, moon faced husk of who I used to be Empty, empty, empty face, brush my teeth and wash my face Pull the door in with a click, zip my coat up to the neck as I begin to descend. Summer Hill in springtime boasts steeples in its skyline and all across the city, painted ladies sitting pretty Wish I was sipping silly and didn't give a shit like the days gone by. Seagulls flock and fly against a pink and purple twilight, my boots are wearing thin, must be the walking that Ive done I don't know where I'm going but you know I'm going down to the depths of us all. I touch my fingers to my lips. I pretend it could be your kiss. Ive felt the force of your focus, don't think I haven't noticed Or maybe its my madness, it could be my madness, maybe its my madness, maybe its just me. I have for you a heavy chest, a heavy chest of thoughts Cant be everything, time comes for any fruit to fall. Are we ripe in dreams or do I rot beneath, beneath us all. Am I so far gone? Am I ever coming back? Could you reach if you tried and stretched your fingertips? Ive a lot on my mind and its murdering my time when all I think of is you. And I know I'm no one special, Ive known that all along They're playing sand castles, build you up to knock you down Its just the way it goes, and when it comes around, don't act like you don't know. I touch my fingers to my lips. I pretend it could be your kiss. Ive felt the force of your focus, don't think I haven't noticed Or maybe its my madness, it could be my madness, maybe its my madness, maybe its just me.
6.
Rainbow 04:50
RAINBOW I cannot see the road in front of me, I'm blind I'm blind Ive lost my way back to reality, I am blind In a dark and lonely wood I crunch the twigs of reason Beneath my soul and heel my needs, apparently a silver stream of thought The currant pulls and spins me round, vertigo from the clouds And I am lost knowing only one thing, I really don't know anything People come and people go with a story book of words Ive seen high and Ive seen low, from elephants to birds Will I one day catch the rainbow? Pretend the wolves aren't right behind you, cant hear them snarling in your ear They'll soon get bored of trying to find you, you were never quite as lost as here And in the basket carried now are books of filth and poetry Well Emily D means more to me, never saw her in the distance you The world has turned a million times, this nauseating velocity People come and people go with a story book of words Ive seen high and Ive seen low, from elephants to birds Will I one day catch the rainbow?
7.
WAITING FOR CHANGE Hello my friends, Ive gone round the bend Just a little tired of what I call my 'life on the mend' Is it really me? Is it really you? Think the pills are wearing off and everything's gone colour blue But I remain positive of all there is to come I speak from my heart and soul and I don't think that's wrong If you need me you can find me waiting in line, waiting for change to come. Hello my God, I'm so bored Please please please send me something special to keep me afloat Is it just me who feels that life is not what it seems? Is it only I who sails o a sea of broken dreams? But I remain positive of all there is to come I speak from my heart and soul and I don't think that's wrong If you need me you can find me waiting in line, waiting for change to come. A shift in the cosmos, an anything I don't need money or mountains of things Keep it simple, keep it real, keep it true I like your eyes, your smile and Ive nothing, nothing left to prove Waiting for change to come, twiddling my fingers and thumbs Pick up and say hello
8.
ONLY WANT YOU Trees and fields roll by like a treadmill Underneath the bus bound home through the green fields Rest my elbow on the sill Misty windows make like blurry eyes after waking I write my name in the condensation I write yours too then rub them out and watch the clouds I only want you, life can be very cruel I sang my songs last night about you To all new people in an all new room They clapped and cheered but I didn't care Because you weren't there So, this is what I do now, I travel all around to different towns Telling everyone all about my tragedies Oh I'm such a drama queen but what the hell Some day it may pay the bills I only want you, life can be very cruel I made a promise to myself, said I'm not going to write anything else This boy consumes my everything, I don't know how to move away from him I don't want to hurt anyone, I don't know how to move on I only want you, life can be very cruel
9.
RELATE TO YOU I'm trying to relate to you, and the plays you make me sit through It's messing with my head, I'm sick of all the games You can be as cold as a moonbeam or warmer than the sun You could be the one I'm trying to relate to you, every single tiny molecule Every thought behind the eyes, every aspect of your inner child It could be one great big disaster, but it could be so much fun You could be the one I'm pining for you, I'm pining for you, Like some old fashioned love fool I'm aware of the odds and what it might cost I'm ready to write some almighty love songs I''m trying to relate to you And the walls that I can see through. I think we should kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss, its the missing puzzle piece You can be as cold as a moonbeam or warmer than the sun It could be one great big disaster, but it could be so much fun You could be the one
10.
COULD'VE BEEN NICER You could've been nicer to me and then I wouldn't have had to go this far You could've been nicer to me all I needed was a mindful heart Now look what Ive done, and all because you left me with no choice Look what Ive done, and all because you left me with no voice to atone myself You could've been nicer to me I know Ive broken my share of rules You could've been nicer to me I was just a young dumb troubled fool We could have been enjoying each others company I'd be teaching young children and giving you the time to find a job you liked You could've been nicer to me, nicer to me I look out over the ocean, the wind blows hair across my face Dry grass rustles in a salty breeze, fizzy foam and choppy waves And I know, I know, I know its too late for us now You could've been nicer to me and then I wouldn't have had to go this far You could've been nicer to me all I needed was a mindful heart You could've been nicer to me, nicer to me You could've been nicer to me, nicer
11.
TEARS IN THE FOREST A whisper on the breeze told me 'You're going down to the woods To revisit you're youth, play Robin Hood. All you have to see is the world beneath the leaves All the browns and greens draped on all those tree's Moss covered stones and ivy crawling.' Oooh, all my childhood memories are tears in the forest, cries from the forest. One foot forward in, sinking slightly into the undergrowth Hood up on coat, bitten by horseflies All that I could see was a white crow in a haze of green Stepping stones across a stream Do you know what I mean? Some ones waiting. Some ones calling Oooh, all my childhood memories are tears in the forest, cries from the forest.

about

Heartfelt, haunting, honest, original songs. An eclectic debut album expressing every day feelings and experiences of a modern female songwriter.

credits

released May 20, 2010

Produced by Louise McCormick, John Crone & Siân Brown
Recorded and mixed by Louise McCormick at Manor Studio
Mastered by Ruairi O' Flaherty

Siân Brown - Lyrics, vocals, guitar, kalimba
Ed Blunden - Drums
John Crone - Bass, electric guitar
Edel Curtin - Piano
Aisling Fitzpatrick - Cello
Ronan Ryan - Flute
Tao J Brown - Electric guitar
Muireann & Caoimhe Neville-Brown - Children playing
James Fitzgerald - Rapping/Beatboxing
Juiliet & Ophelia Bennett-McCormick - Clapping

Artwork - Antonia Brown

All music and lyrics by Siân Brown ©2010

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Siân Brown Cork, Ireland

Siân Brown is a singer, songwriter, musician, dancer, Music Therapist, NMT and Sound Healing Practitioner living in Cork city, Ireland. She has, to date, released three solo albums and a colaborative electro-punk album with band Lambdancer. She feels she is music incarnate. ... more

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